Thursday, 5 January 2012

Dwelling in the weirdness of all

Ok, this is kind of weird.
I never thought this would ever happen to me, but it did. It feels so surreal to me.
sars!, you were totally right about resolutions. (Oh, by the way, I love how you spell your name sars! It's real wacky. Cool.) I hate resolutions.
It used to be my mom asking us to write a list of things that we expected to achieve at the end of a new year ( as if we would!). Oddly enough, mom didn't exactly forced us to. Perhaps its those cultural belief that had been drilled unconsciously into the back of our heads, that if you don't, you'll happen to turn out to be a big failure. Don't know why that used to scare me anyway, seeing how I AM a big failure right now.
So, when we're all grown up, and mom didn't deem it appropriate to order us around anymore, thus by that time, I cease to make any kind of a list of resolutions. Is it any wonder that I'm such a messy ( a mess of myself, in mind and body and soul) person?
Ok, I'm aware that I'm rambling on, and the things that I'm saying above is not the point of the post. This is a testimony to my above statement that I DO make a mess of myself.
For such an unassertive and passive person like me, I could be quite active sometimes. I have faced a crisis lately, that is having not an inspiration to write a post in my blog. Guess what I've been doing? Yup, I've been searching for blogs to read, to steal some inspiration from. But nothing. Ok, I'm lying, there is something, something about 10 things about teen writing that sucks, but the blogger, Bridgit, whose blog that had lead me to it, did such justice that I thought, I might just humiliate myself if I do another again. But would mean I finished my homework (blogging) too. So, I'm still contemplating...
Anyway, back to the topic. So I've been reading and following, hoping to get some feedback somehow. From them. But, unexpectedly, I got another kind of feedback instead, which was even better, but still it didn't kinda eliminate the weirdness that come with it.
You see, after reading about the 10 things about teen writing that sucks (and another likewise post that made me feel even suckier...oops, my writing is definitely going down the drain), I kinda become deflated. I tried to connect with teens instead. Perhaps they won't think that my writing sucks because we could be on the same wavelengths?
I sunk even deeper into depression when no, absolutely none, thought my writing is worthy enough for a read. Ok, maybe I'm too harsh...They could be busy, right? Since it's a new year and all, AND one or two did give some feedback after all. But I'm so low in self-esteem that I wonder is it because of sympathy? Empathy? Or real connection towards what I'm writing?
That's when God decided to show me that miracles do happen. Ally Sestito and sars!, two of my brand-new followers told me through their actions that my writing is worthy enough. One is a rising blogger and soon-to-be a successful young novelist, and the other is a mature, sophisticated and confident blogger, who's not afraid to be opinionated (a good thing! which I'm sorely lacking in...) with great writing skills to boot! One just couldn't help wondering what was it that they saw in me...
Especially sars!. I mean, come on, I'm an immature teen, who don't know half the things I'm rambling about (what more of other's blog?!), and kept running out of ideas to blog, AND also love being plain lazy. What's it with me?!
So yeah. I'm real estatic, sickened with euphoria, and...*taking a deep, DEEP breath* THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The real conclusion of all (besides this post being yet again a gratitude post...yes, I AM aware that I keep churning out gratitude post! Sorry...), doing a good turn brought a good turn back to you. In the least expected form during the least expected moment.
So...don't ever give up. Don't lose faith. And always do good. ( It's boring, but truth nonetheless.)
Overall, it IS a boring post, but hey! I HAVE done my homework. And it's new year after all. I'm supposed to have fun. PLUS, this is my journey in writing. It is what I'd learned in my journey, and this is what you'll get. Pardon my rudeness, but this is my blog, Journey in Writing.
Hope you enjoy my ramblings. XP


  1. you don't have to be sorry when you're thankful!

  2. Your blog, your space. You can write about anything you feel like here and you should feel the freedom to do so.

  3. First, as long as what you write about comes from the heart, it doesn't matter what the topic is. You can make a good piece out of almost anything. So keep at it.

    Second, I second Liz's motion, never apologize for the things you are thankful for. And your appreciation is wonderful and comes at a great time.

  4. Thank you again.
    You're a great gal.


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